Happy new year! I can’t believe I’ve managed to maintain this blog for a full year – I’m hoping to keep it going, as usual.
Here’s looking back on 2019, as well as what I’m hoping to get into for 2020.
Would you believe it that when I started this blog, I was just coming out of a terrible year? I felt like I was practically useless at my job, I was struggling to get things done, and ultimately, I just caught myself before considering a “way out of it”. I’m in such a different place now, that all those years feel like they were a bad dream that I’ve woken up from.
I’ll try not to get too heavy on it, but there were some key discoveries about myself that I felt I needed to acknowledge before I could move on; the one I hated the most was that I had to “choose to be happy” (still hate that phrase). It was hard work to get past my own negativity, as well as make peace with what affected me terribly over the years; I’m just starting to see how I can enjoy myself in life, work with what I have, and it’s gradually getting better. Once I was able to work on that, I was able to piece together some other discoveries.
The second key discovery was that I was correct to suspect that I may have a form of ADHD. I used most of this year to watch my habits, read up on symptoms, get other people to describe my habits, and take some self-tests; I did a ton of research and cross-referencing to be confident that there was something going on that caused me to struggle at work. I also found a webcomic, called ADHD Alien; almost every comic describes me to a T!
Basically, the most telling signs for me was that I struggle with the ability to organize and complete tasks, based on priority and time management. I have less problems when the tasks involve things I like/obsess over, but when it comes to completing regular but necessary tasks, it used to take forever to get around to it. Imagine trying to send out one email, but your brain decides that a million other things are more important/interesting to complete, and to get that email done you need to finish the other million things first; the only problem is that you know the email is actually urgent and needs to be done right away, and now you have this ongoing debate in your head about what to do to get all the things done on time. Doing any of them out of order feels completely wrong and un-doable; suddenly, the whole day is done with nothing completed. I could see myself getting fired at any second, for not completing my most important tasks first.
I’m lucky to have a family doctor that was open to prescribing me with medication for ADHD. I thought that presenting the idea would require much more effort to convince her, but she accepted the test that I answered and printed out (it was based off of the official criteria). She also reassured me that she wouldn’t so readily prescribe medication if I hadn’t done enough research. It’s made a world of a difference in my confidence, and it has only been about 3 months since trying it out. I’m still excited that I can start a task without having to make such an effort to do so! I can also keep a casual conversation going, which was an unexpected bonus.
With 2019 in a good place, I have been making plans for 2020; what sort of things am I gearing up for?
I’ve mentioned it earlier, and now I’m shifting my focus to get it done: getting the room ready for a new bird friend! The room needs to revert back into a craft room, with a bit of space made for the new cage to rest. I’m also waiting for the windows to be replaced this January, so that the room will be nice and warm for the bird.
I’m hoping that in May, I will have a costume ready to show at Anime North 2020. I helped set up my partner’s basement, which includes a room dedicated to craft things at the house. I want to be ambitious with a full-body costume, but I have to feel out the level of determination with everyone else before I make a commitment. If all goes well, it will be a decayed guardian from BOTW! Alternatively, I could plan for other ideas that keep coming back, like Monster Hunter creatures, or Medabots.
As far as crocheting goes, I think I may be dialing it down and maybe I might be crocheting different things besides pokemon. I’m thinking I could make more Digimon, more dragons, more original characters, just things that I feel like doing. I still need to look after some patterns, which maybe I’ll have available this year, hopefully. This will all become more clear to me when I have my bird and if I’m actually making a crazy costume. If anyone has a request for crocheting, I might be open to making them!
To summarize for myself, I am aiming to have the following goals completed for the next year:
- Crochet 2 – 3 new items per month (about a 24 – 36 total for the year)
- Adopt a new bird friend (spring 2020)
- Complete a costume for Anime North 2020 (for May)
- Have at least 2 patterns available in the store
- Begin selling some crochet dolls (???)
- Try some new art media
Thanks for reading! I hope you all have a happy new year!